Get 'Er Done

So much going on in my head these days. I sit on the porch late at night and think up a million different blog entries, but then my mind starts to wander and I lose my focus. It's like that with most things these days. I can't just pick one thing to focus on and run with it. I'm kind of like my dad in that sense... I have lots of grand plans inside my head... the schematics all worked out... but, executing it is where I have the most problems. I'm a great procrastinator, but at the same time, when it comes down to the wire, I'm a kick-ass worker and really get things done. I just wish that I could find my oomph.

This week started out pretty shitty (thank you, Aunt Flo). I felt like complete crap. Hmmm... Let's tick of the symptoms:

Fatigue
Uncoordinated
Acne
Cramps
Bloating
Irritation
Depression
Unfocused

Fun stuff. It's like a miracle after a day or two, though. It all just simply goes away and the storm cloud passes. I lost my mojo for a couple of days there, but all is right with the world again.

Not to mention that I've been looking like a crazy two-toned face and have a stench. :( I've found a temporary remedy for one, but I'll have to go see the doctor. So, I'm going to try not to worry about it too much and hope for a solution.

I have tons of ideas for JLS. I need to set aside some time on Sunday to do some brainstorming and actual leg-work. I'm really excited to get things rolling. My long-term goal right now is to have at least 5 clients by this time next year. My short-term goal is to (re)develop my course and figure out the cost. I think it's achievable. I think Rob is right. I need to stop being afraid to just take the leap and get 'er done. I'm a great thinker. Just a scared do-er.

Speaking of RobJerGat... He makes my heart pitter pat. I've never felt so comfortable with another human being in my life. One month after meeting him, and I feel just as excited to see him or hear his voice as I did on that first day. Thank you, God, for sending him to me. He makes me laugh my britches off. He makes me feel beautiful on my worst days. I just hope that I can make him feel as good as he makes me feel. I see a happy future where I didn't think it would be possible. Hope is the best feeling in the world, and Robby provides that for me on the daily. Dear God, please bless our partnership. Please show us the way to a bright future. Give us the strength to jump the hurdles in front of us. Give us insight to always count our blessings whether things are going good or going bad. Show us how to love one another with humble, forgiving, and unconditional hearts.

I'm feeling good tonight. I have my BB cuddled in the covers, a full belly, a pretty nice roof over my head, friends and family who love me and I love like crazy, and the rest of my life in front of me.

I'm going to sleep with a smile.

Clarity

I never knew that something could feel so comfortable. So right. So easy. Sometimes I pause during the day, and I just can't believe how lucky I am. How blessed I am that God heard me and sent my touchstone. I know that not much time has gone by yet, but there is not one red flag... not one flare of intuition... not one gut feeling that has told me this is something to be scared of. Every part of me feels like this is the one. This is where I will build my life. My family. My future. I feel like it's... Christmas morning when I was a child. That feeling on Christmas Eve before Santa came. Pure delight and excitement. The sweet anticipation. I carry that feeling around right now, but now it's something more profound. It's not just material. It's the gift that I'm about to be given of a life well lived and a life well loved. I just know it.