Him: "So, would you ever consider eating more healthy?"
Me: "What do you mean? Are you trying to say Lucky Charms and a cigarette aren't everyone's standard breakfast?" [as I lightly chuckle at my pseudo-joke]
Him: [long silence]
Me: "What do you mean by 'eating more healthy?' I mean, I enjoy a good meal with all of the basic food groups. I eat salad now and then. I love vegetables. But, I don't go out of my way to eat whole grain and tofu, if that's what you're saying..."
Him: "Well... just so you know, I haven't had anything processed or chocolate for at least 2 years."
Me: [blink blink]
Him: "I was just wondering if you would ever change your eating habits for someone, because I'm not sure if I could ever be with someone who eats junk all the time."
Me: [blink blink] "Ummmm... If you're asking me to give up chocolate to go on a date with you, you've got delusions of grandeur, dude."
**********
This second bit of conversation should be read with the understanding that my online dating profile CLEARLY states that I am a smoker. Also, during our previous great conversations, this topic had come up, and he acted like it was no big deal, especially since I have no plans on being a lifelong smoker and do plan on quitting eventually...
Him: "So, if we were to kiss, would you brush your teeth before we did?"
Me: [what the hell?? this guy is talking about kissing, and we haven't even gone on a date yet!] "Umm... well... I guess I would before we went to bed if we were living together or got more intimate later on."
Him: "Because someone who smokes REALLY turns me off, and I would want them to wash their hands and brush their teeth before kissing me or coming near me."
Me: "Hmmm. It sounds like this is a deal breaker for you. I have to honestly say that I would not brush my teeth after all 10 cigarettes I smoke a day."
Him: "Yeah, well. This is really going to be a problem for me."
Him: "So, if we were to kiss, would you brush your teeth before we did?"
Me: [what the hell?? this guy is talking about kissing, and we haven't even gone on a date yet!] "Umm... well... I guess I would before we went to bed if we were living together or got more intimate later on."
Him: "Because someone who smokes REALLY turns me off, and I would want them to wash their hands and brush their teeth before kissing me or coming near me."
Me: "Hmmm. It sounds like this is a deal breaker for you. I have to honestly say that I would not brush my teeth after all 10 cigarettes I smoke a day."
Him: "Yeah, well. This is really going to be a problem for me."
**********
Ya think, guy? Yeah, why on earth would he even click on my profile and get to the point of 2 conversations into plans for a date and getting me all excited if he felt this way? Grrrrr! What a waste of my breath and time.
The next morning after our phone conversation, I sent him a text message that went something like this:
The next morning after our phone conversation, I sent him a text message that went something like this:
Hey, B. Too many red flags.
Not sure the date is a good idea.
I wish you luck!
Honestly, there were a few other red flags before the featured conversations above. The fact that he called me about 7 times in the span of 2 days. The fact that he lectured me about checking my PoF account when I should be focusing on one person (him). The fact that he volunteered the information that he is pretty jealous when he's in a relationship, but that he's "learned his lesson" and is "working on it."
I just steadily kept getting turned off, and I guess the diet thing and the smoking thing were the weird clinchers. At least I dodged a bullet. At least my douchebag radar worked this time... Because guess what his reply to my text was?
Not sure the date is a good idea.
I wish you luck!
Honestly, there were a few other red flags before the featured conversations above. The fact that he called me about 7 times in the span of 2 days. The fact that he lectured me about checking my PoF account when I should be focusing on one person (him). The fact that he volunteered the information that he is pretty jealous when he's in a relationship, but that he's "learned his lesson" and is "working on it."
I just steadily kept getting turned off, and I guess the diet thing and the smoking thing were the weird clinchers. At least I dodged a bullet. At least my douchebag radar worked this time... Because guess what his reply to my text was?
Yeah, I wasn't interested anyway.
Thanks, though.
Thanks, though.
Sigh.
***UPDATE*** No call all weekend from Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde, but he sends me a random picture of him this evening. WTF? I do not want pictures of you, dude. I wish that I had some sort of snarky reply to his picture, but I'm just speechless...
****UPDATE x2**** Two more texts were received from this prize of a guy...
Text 1: "WTF my nigga."
I shit you not. That is EXACTLY what the text said. I. Have. No. Words.
Text 2: (sent 2 days later) "I really want to see you."
Wow. This guy is... priceless. My reply? "I thought you 'weren't that interested anyway?' I take that to mean one of two things. Either you really weren't that interested anyway or it was a juvenile reply to me turning your ass down for a date. There are no do-overs for a first impression."
****UPDATE x2**** Two more texts were received from this prize of a guy...
Text 1: "WTF my nigga."
I shit you not. That is EXACTLY what the text said. I. Have. No. Words.
Text 2: (sent 2 days later) "I really want to see you."
Wow. This guy is... priceless. My reply? "I thought you 'weren't that interested anyway?' I take that to mean one of two things. Either you really weren't that interested anyway or it was a juvenile reply to me turning your ass down for a date. There are no do-overs for a first impression."
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